Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Rose by Any Other Name

I've laughed out loud in the produce section lately. While Berkeley is filled with people who talk to themselves or laugh at silent, invisible jokes, I had rather hoped I wouldn't be one of them.  Anyway, it seems funny food names favor fruits disproportionately.  Obviously, vegetable growers lack a sense of humor. 

Recently I've eaten foods called:
-'Hippy Zebra' (a green striped tomato)
-'Beef Master' (only a man would come up with this)
-'Jolly' (I pop these in my mouth whole.  Is that piggish?  So?)
-'Mortgage Lifter' (who cares what they look like? I'm buying these by the truckful)
-'Torpedo' (a red onion in the shape of... a torpedo)
-'Elephant Heart' (a blood-red plum with an odd shape)
-'October Sun' (I'm totally biased here)
-'Ruby Velvet'(aptly named, but plum people clearly have too much time on their hands)
-'Emerald Beaut' (sic) (ditto)
-easter egg radishes (red, pink, purple and white all in one bunch)
-lemon cucumbers (these are the cutest cucumbers EVER invented)
-rainbow chard (I wish the color didn't fade when I cook it)
-dinosaur kale (you can't NOT eat this stuff!)

I've probably fallen for the oldest marketing trick in the book-- make the product sound enticing and people will buy it.  But hey, I'd rather buy 'Elephant Heart' plums than 'Red Misshapen' ones.

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